What makes me happy?

what makes me happy?
for the past few months,I've been dealing with me self-harming myself.
It all started on one morning, I was in deep depression and I didn't wanted to go to school.
My mom force me to go,so I went.
I wanted to kill myself on that moment.
When I reached school, I took out my book and wrote,

 I cried. I went to the toilet after I wrote my so call "last words".
But then , I don't dare to cut deeper.
I was in great depression
I was feeling sad, feeling unsatisfied,feeling super dry,feeling insecure.
My friends then realised my scars, because I literally cut deeper and deeper until it bleeds.
They are super disappointed at me  .
Cut the story short, I'm really happy when my friends were supporting me.
Feeling better,I realised for my love on High fashion,Fashion design.
I start doing a lot of research on fashion.
Fashion ,trends, makes me happy
makes me feel confident.
There's always something new to see, there's a lot of ideas that haven't been discovered.
and that makes me want to go more ,find more,see more from it.
So....I'm not sure yet on this decision yet but,
I wanted to do something that can be related to Fashion.
Maybe I should start a Fashion Blog,shouldn't I?
*feeling excited* I dunno ~
oh,btw, my #ootd down below ~

long sleeve croptop with studs on the side ,and a jumpsuit. you're welcome ;)