Tuesday, May 27, 2014

I don't know who am I

My results is falling, I'm creating worse image for people.
And my relationship with God is getting further for sure.
Although I tend to spend more time in church,but I didn't spent a lil' time everyday with God(which I prefer) Surfing through the internet to find motivation and inspiration but I still feel really lost.
I have good friends, good parents ,good life but it just seems that it wasn't me anymore.
The more I search for inspiration videos ,the more I feel that my parents is the one should feel lost not me.
I'm too young for that.
Maybe because I'm a teenager and it's just hormone.
But I have so many things needs to be done. So many until I have no idea how to do it .
I am a big sister,a leader,a daughter, a student ,a dancer, a pianist.
but none of them I'm doing it perfectly.
So much negativity is coming . I know I need God , but I didn't seek him.
I know I need to share my thoughts to my friends, my family, but I don't know how.
In their eyes, I'm just a dutchbag.
I feel like crying.
I've hurt so many people,I don't know how to fix the scars I left oh them.
I just don't know how.
And I have no idea,what is being myself. What happiness really is.
I just had to be grateful.
That's what I am thinking.

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