I don't know who am I

My results is falling, I'm creating worse image for people.

And my relationship with God is getting further for sure.

Although I tend to spend more time in church,but I didn't spent a lil' time everyday with God(which I prefer) Surfing through the internet to find motivation and inspiration but I still feel really lost.

I have good friends, good parents ,good life but it just seems that it wasn't me anymore.

The more I search for inspiration videos ,the more I feel that my parents is the one should feel lost not me.

I'm too young for that.

Maybe because I'm a teenager and it's just hormone.

But I have so many things needs to be done. So many until I have no idea how to do it .

I am a big sister,a leader,a daughter, a student ,a dancer, a pianist.

but none of them I'm doing it perfectly.

So much negativity is coming . I know I need God , but I didn't seek him.

I know I need to share my thoughts to my friends, my family, but I don't know how.

In their eyes, I'm just a dutchbag.

I feel like crying.

I've hurt so many people,I don't know how to fix the scars I left oh them.

I just don't know how.

And I have no idea,what is being myself. What happiness really is.

I just had to be grateful.

That's what I am thinking.