Uselessness.

Hey guys , I'm back. I know,I know my blog wasn't great at all. And I really hope my readers is awesome as always.^3^ Well, today I'm gonna talk about some friends problems that I'm facing... Or should I say problems that I'm facing? Gotta get back to my studies ASAP after I post this!! Spent the whole morning watching movie, Urgh.Why Can't I have self-control?? Anyways.let's go to the main topic. K, I'm actually really tense for my friendship problems, cause I would easily get jealous on friendships.( well, I don't have a boyfriend,so I get jealous on my friends.) I want my friends to come to me. I want them to talk to me. And to me ONLY. I'm selfish,aren't I? Whatever.That's why I don't like to have best friends. Is really hard to control your friends,right? I love my friends,and I love them with all my heart . *hold fist* I wanna hang out with my friends so badly but my baba won't allowed me. And there's one time. My friends didn't even asked me to go out after exam.I only know they want to go out on the current day. I was dissapointed. But I don't really show them that I'm sad. They will be going for a movie after school without me. I was like whatevar, my dad won't allow me to go although they asked me. BUT, but they did something worse to me. Maybe they didn't realized. but for me, It hurts . alot. So, on that day(the day my friends went for the movie) there's a spring cleaning in our school . And I was painting the wall. (PS:my school is crazy) the wall in my classroom. And I accidently dirty the floor. and the whole floor is the painting. the next class was complaining ,and I have to clean the floor. I feel like crying on that time. but my friends was sitting in the classroom . didn't even looked at me. They were chating happily. I felt abandoned. I can really feel my tears rolling in my eyes. But I don't let them shed out.I have to stay strong. Maybe I'll just scold them after school. When the bell rings, I was getting ready to keep the stuff for painting. after I finished keeping my stuff, I realised that my friends are gone. They just left,without even say bye. I was dissapointed. really dissapointed. Really felt my heart was aching. I don't know. Maybe I should mess with them anymore. And yes, I'm still messing with them with this torn in my heart. but I really love them . maybe we don't even love each other. I'm the only one that was in love.