So I have a friend who is a has a little more fat than me but you know , I'm so jealous of her because she has the chance to wear super nice clothes and her English is super good . But I'm also jealous of my another friend that can be so skinny that whatever clothes she wears , she looks good in it. My dad told me not to compare with others so that your life will not be that miserable . But I just can't control myself .
Why am I like this ?
oh,BTW, I just bought a 240 bucks lose weight drink . hahaha. I just won't spent my money wisely.
If there's three wish for me , my first wish is The world become has no war. Second, I want to be the sexiest human in the world. Third, I want everybody to trust in Jesus :)
That's my three wishes!
Im crazy you know I'm just so crazy .....
Wednesday, January 7, 2015
a letter to god
oh lord,
As you can see my situation right now , I am eager to lose weight . I know by losing these weight can't glorify your name or anything but I want people to accept me . I want to be pretty, If being pretty can glorify your name I would like to be like that. If my beauty is able to glorify your name pls let me do that! I want to be sexy and thin so that I can be sexy .
I want to wear nice clothes and I want to use myself to sell my clothes , If there's a chance for me to be popular , pls let me do that. lord, really I still don't like myself that much, I am not satisfied with my body . I want to be prettier , skinnier.
And lord also , pls cut less my lusting desire I don't want myself to be like that . I want to be as clean as possible . But I have a feeling that you aren't there for me because I'm not there for you. So lord, I'm so sorry to say this but I just feel that we being together is really hard.I'm avoiding you . and you avoiding me. Lord, I'm so tired of bring me. in the name of jesus ,amen
As you can see my situation right now , I am eager to lose weight . I know by losing these weight can't glorify your name or anything but I want people to accept me . I want to be pretty, If being pretty can glorify your name I would like to be like that. If my beauty is able to glorify your name pls let me do that! I want to be sexy and thin so that I can be sexy .
I want to wear nice clothes and I want to use myself to sell my clothes , If there's a chance for me to be popular , pls let me do that. lord, really I still don't like myself that much, I am not satisfied with my body . I want to be prettier , skinnier.
And lord also , pls cut less my lusting desire I don't want myself to be like that . I want to be as clean as possible . But I have a feeling that you aren't there for me because I'm not there for you. So lord, I'm so sorry to say this but I just feel that we being together is really hard.I'm avoiding you . and you avoiding me. Lord, I'm so tired of bring me. in the name of jesus ,amen
I want to lose weight
There's this idea that I've been thinking for almost for the rest of my life is to lose weight.
I've been thinking about it since I was young and end up losing nothing. I want to be stick thin but I just love food so much.
Eating is my hobby , but being skinny is my dream.I want to be thin so that I can be popular in instagram . I want to be thin so that more people can accept me . I want to be thin because I want to look good when wearing clothes. I want to be thin because I want to look good.
But I love food. I love chocolates, sweets, pastries and all the fattening food. It's so delicious .
Like me , I tried puking all the things I ate and I managed to lose a little bit of the weight. My family aren't supporting me clean eating . I want to lose weight fast ! I don't want people to call me fat anymore ! I'm enough of it! I'm so frustrated when people call me fat.
But I hate excercising . It is hell to me. I don't feel good at all after excercising.
Losing weight needs lots of self-control which I didn't have,
I need to start controlling myself , I need to start controlling every bite of the food.
I can't stay blur anymore I need a plan . I need to do something .
I plan to buy a detox package from someone but it's quite pricey. I trust that this product will really help me so that I could lose weight.
I am now 163cm 65kg and my goal weight is 50kg.
what if I can't be slim ? what if that's impossible?
I've been thinking about it since I was young and end up losing nothing. I want to be stick thin but I just love food so much.
Eating is my hobby , but being skinny is my dream.I want to be thin so that I can be popular in instagram . I want to be thin so that more people can accept me . I want to be thin because I want to look good when wearing clothes. I want to be thin because I want to look good.
But I love food. I love chocolates, sweets, pastries and all the fattening food. It's so delicious .
Like me , I tried puking all the things I ate and I managed to lose a little bit of the weight. My family aren't supporting me clean eating . I want to lose weight fast ! I don't want people to call me fat anymore ! I'm enough of it! I'm so frustrated when people call me fat.
But I hate excercising . It is hell to me. I don't feel good at all after excercising.
Losing weight needs lots of self-control which I didn't have,
I need to start controlling myself , I need to start controlling every bite of the food.
I can't stay blur anymore I need a plan . I need to do something .
I plan to buy a detox package from someone but it's quite pricey. I trust that this product will really help me so that I could lose weight.
I am now 163cm 65kg and my goal weight is 50kg.
what if I can't be slim ? what if that's impossible?
Sunday, January 4, 2015
Is like a jail here
I've said it that I found a job right?
So I end up working with my aunt and I finally had a "productive" day u guess huh? NO.
There's nothing to do there . I can't play phone and simply log in to other acc like Facebook to play.
My aunt has been working without asking me to do anything and I am very bored by then
All I can do was blogging and going in to other acc that doesn't show that I'm playing com
Being a Tem is just really stupid. I have nothing to do.
But this office gives really nice environment . It has nice city view and provides free coffee without limit! You can drink coffee whenever you feel like ! Is a bonus huh!?
my colleagues here are super sweet ... I really like them .
Hope I can have more productive day in the future
So I end up working with my aunt and I finally had a "productive" day u guess huh? NO.
There's nothing to do there . I can't play phone and simply log in to other acc like Facebook to play.
My aunt has been working without asking me to do anything and I am very bored by then
All I can do was blogging and going in to other acc that doesn't show that I'm playing com
Being a Tem is just really stupid. I have nothing to do.
But this office gives really nice environment . It has nice city view and provides free coffee without limit! You can drink coffee whenever you feel like ! Is a bonus huh!?
my colleagues here are super sweet ... I really like them .
Hope I can have more productive day in the future
Sunday, December 21, 2014
No one reads my blog
I have to admit that no one reads my blog. That's good . I can type all my feelings I want to and I can say whatever I want.
Working as a clerk is super boring especially when your boss is not around. Luckily today I only work half day . if not I have to be bored all day.
I had a weird dream yesterday. I dreamed that I fell in love with one of my friend . Suddenly, he called me and I saw him wearing a Nintendo (which won't happen ever) his parents is beside him
he tell me : Carol, I'm sorry . I love you but I have a family . I have a wife and I have my children. I have parents . My mom doesn't allow us to be together. I think I have to leave you.
I was so sad on that time and I saw myself driving(which I don't know how) and shouted:"don't leave me! I'm coming now! I'm sorry! I'm coming now!! "
and then when I went to find him it was too late . I was so disappointed and sad which I don't know why. My heart ache so much and I feel like dying . I was really sad. My love has gone. He is gone forever.
and then I woke up
Working as a clerk is super boring especially when your boss is not around. Luckily today I only work half day . if not I have to be bored all day.
I had a weird dream yesterday. I dreamed that I fell in love with one of my friend . Suddenly, he called me and I saw him wearing a Nintendo (which won't happen ever) his parents is beside him
he tell me : Carol, I'm sorry . I love you but I have a family . I have a wife and I have my children. I have parents . My mom doesn't allow us to be together. I think I have to leave you.
I was so sad on that time and I saw myself driving(which I don't know how) and shouted:"don't leave me! I'm coming now! I'm sorry! I'm coming now!! "
and then when I went to find him it was too late . I was so disappointed and sad which I don't know why. My heart ache so much and I feel like dying . I was really sad. My love has gone. He is gone forever.
and then I woke up
Being organised
Being organised is really hard for me. It's just something extra for me . I think messy things gives more feels to my everyday life . That's what I think though.
But I think I have to grab a pen and note book list down all the things I have to be organised before I start my college.
A organised life leads to a better life and a better life is what I wanted to have so I think I have to be organised first before I step into my better life ,duh?
But in this holiday there's nothing to be organised ! I'm so into my holiday mood and I end up making my second desk way too messy. (sorry no pics for you guys to see) but anyways...
I just doodling around my blog because I'm too free so if u r reading my doodles I would like to say thank you for your patience and I would like to glorified it by CAPITALIZING MY WORDINGS . THANK YOU.
But I think I have to grab a pen and note book list down all the things I have to be organised before I start my college.
A organised life leads to a better life and a better life is what I wanted to have so I think I have to be organised first before I step into my better life ,duh?
But in this holiday there's nothing to be organised ! I'm so into my holiday mood and I end up making my second desk way too messy. (sorry no pics for you guys to see) but anyways...
I just doodling around my blog because I'm too free so if u r reading my doodles I would like to say thank you for your patience and I would like to glorified it by CAPITALIZING MY WORDINGS . THANK YOU.
Wednesday, December 17, 2014
Working now
After my SPM I just can't wait on working. So I found three job and end up following my aunt to her office and worked with her.
I don't want to put to much details on what my company is but I would like to tell my experience on the jobs I found.
The first job I received is Johnny Rocket. Is a super famous restaurant in my country which requires workers to have fun with the customers and ofcourse dance with them ! I found this job super fun but I end up didn't choose the job because the restaurant wants me to buy uniform which I have no money to buy for. So I end up no taking the job.
The second job I had received is Parkson. As a Clark . Parkson is one of the famous shopping center in my country. I think that is a rare chance to actually get a job there. I was really happy when I got that job. But that job requires me to work on Saturday and Sunday which I can't. (I had to go church on Sunday!)So I end up not receiving that job either.
The only thing I'm not responsible about is I didn't inform them I didn't take their job. So they end up contacting my family which makes me feel ashamed. I should have be more responsible for my doings. *sigh*
So I think that's it for this post.
Kind of miss the days where I can wake up passed ten and surf the net for the whole day. Working days are kinda tired. I learned to be more responsible for my own doings and always learn to inform .
I don't want to put to much details on what my company is but I would like to tell my experience on the jobs I found.
The first job I received is Johnny Rocket. Is a super famous restaurant in my country which requires workers to have fun with the customers and ofcourse dance with them ! I found this job super fun but I end up didn't choose the job because the restaurant wants me to buy uniform which I have no money to buy for. So I end up no taking the job.
The second job I had received is Parkson. As a Clark . Parkson is one of the famous shopping center in my country. I think that is a rare chance to actually get a job there. I was really happy when I got that job. But that job requires me to work on Saturday and Sunday which I can't. (I had to go church on Sunday!)So I end up not receiving that job either.
The only thing I'm not responsible about is I didn't inform them I didn't take their job. So they end up contacting my family which makes me feel ashamed. I should have be more responsible for my doings. *sigh*
So I think that's it for this post.
Kind of miss the days where I can wake up passed ten and surf the net for the whole day. Working days are kinda tired. I learned to be more responsible for my own doings and always learn to inform .
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